IN THE PIPELINE--DAVE'S ALASKA ADVENTURE

SADLY, OUR DEPARTURE DATE IS THE DAY OF THE FUNERAL SERVICE OF COACH JAMES DAWKINS. MY FIRST WEEK ON THE JOB AS A PREP RADIO SPORTS REPORTER, COACH DAWKINS WAS MY FIRST INTERVIEW. ALWAYS WAS MY FAVE.

NINE HOURS DOMESTIC FLIGHT TIME ATLANTA TO ANCHORAGE, BOUT EQUAL TO INTERNATIONAL , SO THE GAME PLAN IS TO PURCHASE THE NEW GEORGE WILL BOOK AT THE AIRPORT TO COVER THE DISTANCE.

HOWEVER, ITS NOT AVAILABLE, ONLY SOME FICTION, SELF HELP AND HOWARD STERN. NO G.W. AT THE AIRPORT. ADD THAT TO THE REASONS I SUPPORT STATE TAKEOVER.

GOT A LUCKY BREAK, THREE ACROSS SEATING IN THE HOLE (COACH) AND I'M ALONE. GRAB A PILLOW AND BLANKET AND SACK OUT AS IF ITS ONE OF THOSE BUNK/SEATS DELTA IS PROMOTING INTERNATIONAL FIRST CLASS.

A 9 HOUR FLIGHT AND NO MEAL SERVICE? YES, DELTA SERVICE HAS TAKEN A DOWNTURN, BUT THAT'S THE REALTY OF AN AIRLINE MAKING MORE $ FROM A CREDIT CARD DEAL THAN FLYING PASSENGERS. A RETIRED FLIGHT ATTENDANT FLEW FIRST CLASS TO MUNICH LAST MONTH AND CLAIMED THEY USED ONE HEAD OF LETTUCE FOR ALL SALADS IN IST CLASS AND SERVED HIM TWO QUARTER-SIZED CRAB CAKES. PASSENGERS MIGHT QUESTION BIG ED CEO BUT NOT SHAREHOLDERS, AFTER ALL HE DIDN'T BUY THE MAX.

NO MATTER—OUR FEARLESS TOUR GUIDE ALWAYS LAUNCHES HIS GLOBAL ADVENTURES AT P.F. CHANG CHINA BISTRO AT THE AIRPORT , SWEET AND SOUR CHICKEN IS THE MENU CHOICE.

AND THE BOY WONDER OF THE TRAVEL CONNECTION HAS A JOELESS JOLT AT BREAKFAST, HE'S GOTTA HAVE A COKE.

WELCOME TO ALASKA WHERE NO ONE WEARS COWBOY BOOTS OR CAMO , BUT TATS ARE EVERYWHERE. LOTS AND LOTS OF TATS.

ANCHORAGE, THE LARGEST CITY IN ALASKA , ON ATLANTA TV NEWS IF IT BLEEDS IT LEADS , BUT ALASKA IS KINDA QUIET AND HOMEY. RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE 6PM NEWS, BETWEEN THE WEATHER AND SPORTS, THEY INSERT THE BIRTHDAYS AND ANNIVERSARIES. JUST SEND IN YOUR PHOTO AND ITS GETS ON AIR.

TODAY'S TREND IN TV NEWS, WEATHER BABES , GORGEOUS TYPES TO PREDICT THE HIGHS AND LOWS BUT CHANNEL 2 EXECUTIVES IN ANCHORAGE DIDN'T GET THE MEMO—THEIR WEATHER GAL HAD THE PROFILE OF AN NFL DOWN LINEMAN.

ORDER A LEMONADE IN ALASKA AND THEY WILL PROBABLY BRING YOU A MIKE'S. AND THE ENVIRO-NAZIS HAVE ELIMINATED STRAWS. ORDER A BEVERAGE, GOTTA HAVE A STRAW. TRACED IT BACK TO A HOWARD HUGHES TIC I PICKED-UP DURING A STAY AT THE DESERT INN IN VEGAS WHEN HOWARD WAS LIVING IN THE PENTHOUSE.

ON TO DENALI NATIONAL PARK BY TRAIN WHERE WE SEE THE PEAK OF WHAT ONCE WAS MT. MCKINLEY, NOW DENALI .ODDLY, THE SHOWCASE OF THIS NATIONAL PARK IS ONLY VISIBLE 30% OF THE TIME. THEY SAY ITS THE COLDEST MOUNTAIN IN THE WORLD.

DO U HAVE RAISIN BRAN?—A QUESTION FOR THE CUTE JAMAICAN COLLEGE STUDENT GREETING BREAKFAST PATRONS AT DENALI NATIONAL PARK. HER REPLY-- WHAT'S RAISIN BRAN?

LANDING BY CHOPPER ON A GLACIER, RUSS, CHRISTY, DRENNAN, AND I FEEL AS REMOTE AS NEIL AND BUZZ ON THE LUNAR SURFACE . A BUMMER SUMMER FOR THE FLOAT PLANE COMPANIES, TWO SHUT DOWN AFTER CRASHES THAT CLAIMED ALMOST 10 TOURISTS AND A PILOT. OUR FLIGHT— SUPER.

THANKFUL WE DIDN'T SCORE A 10. THE BIGGEST EARTHQUAKE IN NORTH AMERICAN SHOOK ALASKA FOR FOUR MINUTES ON GOOD FRIDAY IN 1964 , JUST UNDER A 10. SEVERAL STREETS DROPPED 4 FEET IN FAIRBANKS .

DAWSON CITY, YUKON TERRITORY, CANADA, HOME OF THE GOLD RUSH OF THE LATE 1800'S. SOMEONE FOUND A FROZEN TOE IN AN OLD SHED AND MADE IT INTO A RITUAL AT A LOCAL BAR. THEY LINE UP EVERY NIGHT AT 9 TO ENJOY THE SOUR TOE COCKTAIL. THE ATTENDANT UNLOCKS THE CHEST THAT HOUSES THE TOE, RUBS IT IN SALT AND PLOPS IT INTO A SHOT OF WHISKEY , YA KNOCK IT BACK AND YOUR LIPS MUST MAKE CONTACT WITH THE TOE TO BE INDUCTED INTO THE BROTHERHOOD AND GET YOUR CERTIFICATE. STEVE AND MICHAEL REPRESENTED THE TOUR/YA KNOW A UK GRAD LIKE STEVE KNOWS HIS SPIRTS.

A BUSINESSMAN IN NEWNAN, GA. DROPPED EVERYTHING AND HEADED FOR THE YUKON GOLD RUSH. WHEN HE ARRIVED HE FOUND TOO MANY BODIES LOOKING FOR GOLD, SO HE OPENED A HOTEL/CAT HOUSE AND MADE A FORTUNE.

SOMETHINGS ODD ABOUT DAWSON CITY, SEEMS EVERY BUSINESS IS FOR SALE. AND MANY FOR SALE ALL OVER ALASKA, GUESS THE REASON IS THE TOURIST SEASON IS ONLY APRIL TO SEPTEMBER. ON THE COAST JEWELRY STORES OUTNUMBER OTHER RETAILS 5 TO 1. A STORE MANAGER FROM INDIA LET ME HOLD A $10,000 GOLD PENDANT (STUFF IS HEAVY). HE HAS A GOOD GIG, RUNS THE STORE IN SCAGWAY IN SUMMER, A STORE IN ST. THOMAS IN WINTER.

ALASKA'S POPULATION ONLY 800,000—NEEDS MORE PEOPLE. IN THE 70'S THE STATE GAVE AWAY 5 ACRES IN THE BOONIES TO COUPLES WHO WOULD COME TO LIVE IN ALASKA. THEY SAY THE WIVES ALL WENT BACK TO THE LOWER 48 AFTER THE FIRST WINTER.

A FEMALE CABBIE SAID ALASKANS CONSUME MORE ICE CREAM THAN ANY OTHER STATE AND SHE KEEPS HERS ON THE PORCH FROM OCTOBER TO SPRING AND IT NEVER MELTS.

A CANADIAN MOTHER AND DAUGHTER DISLIKE TRUMP BUT DESPITE JUSTIN BEING ON THE COVER OF ROLLING STONE SEVERAL ISSUES BACK, THEY DON'T LIKE THEIR YOUNG PRIME MINISTER TRUDEAU, EITHER.

THE GUIDE ON OUR GLACIER SIGHT-SEE BOAT HAS EXPERIENCED THE GLACIAL MELT FOR YEARS, IS CONVINCED ITS GLOBAL WARMING AND SHE'S BACKING LIZ WARREN TO STOP IT.

LIKE EUROPE, ALASKA IS EXPERIENCING A HEAT WAVE THIS SUMMER. YES, A LITTLE BIT OF PARIS RIGHT IN THE HEART OF THE YUKON. A HOTEL ROOM W/O AC.

WHO THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A CHALLENGE TO FIND A KLONDIKE BAR IN THE KLONDIKE. IT WAS AND THEN ONLY THE ORIGINAL FLAVOR. AT THE OLD MEDIA CENTER AT AUGUSTA NATIONAL THE ICE CREAM BOX STOCKED ALL THE FLAVORS , 8 TO 10 OF THEM AND I CONSIDERED IT ONLY PROPER TO SAMPLE THEM ALL DURING THE TOURNAMENT.

NEVER BOARDED A CRUISE SHIP BEFORE BUT WELCOME ABOARD THE HOLLAND AMERICA LINE WITH MORE JAPANESE THAT WE HAD FOR THE GRAND OPENING OF THE YAMAHA PLANT IN THOMASTON, YEARS BACK. JAPANESE AND CHINESE TOURISTS ARE THE TOAST OF THE ALASKA COAST.

THE CRUISE SHIP BUFFET—THINK GOLDEN CORRAL ON STEROIDS. ONLY THING MISSING THAT CHOCO FOUNTAIN AT THE CORRAL MY NEPHEW BABY JAMES CRAVES.

THE FANCY DINING ROOMS ON BOARD OFFERED OVER THE TOP SERVICE, BUT THERE WAS ONE DISAPPOINTMENT, A FILET OF SEA BASS MIGHTA BEEN SHIPPED IN FROM 10 MILE CREEK.

OUR BOAT WAS THE SMALLEST ONE IN PORT BUT THE SHIP'S ENVIRONMENTAL OFFICER FROM NORWAY CONFIRMED IT WAS SLIGHTLY LARGER THAN THE TITANIC

SIGNAGE ENROUTE TO THE VANCOUVER AIRPORT—VANCOUVER IS A GLOBAL EVACUATION CITY. DOES THAT MEAN WE GATHER THERE IF WE'RE EXITING THE EARTH?

NPR DISCOVERED TOM BODETTE BUILDING HOUSES IN AN ARTSY FISHING VILLAGE, HOMER, ALASKA. HIS WITTY STORIES CAUGHT THE EAR OF A BIG AD AGENCY AND HE WAS HIRED AS PITCHMAN FOR THE MOTEL 6 LODGING CHAIN. YA KNOW HIS STOCK LINE--”WE'LL LEAVE THE LIGHT ON FOR YOU.” WELL, WE DIDN'T NEED TOM TO LEAVE THE LIGHT ON FOR US— DURING OUR TOUR--IT NEVER GOT DARK IN ALASKA.